Simple explanations

Recent events

Anyone paying attention?

     A lot of you who have read my Blogs before most likely know about my concept for imaginary friends and stuffed animals. I am not leaving these things behind. I am leaving behind my adult baby regressing for more healthy and productive things.

     I isolated myself from people not long after graduating high-school. That much I know I made clear. The scares I got during that time was bad enough to still cause me problems today. All of my hiding in AB/DLism only has proven to cause my scars to get worse.
Whats the deal with Pacifiers?

Whats the deal with pacifiers

     A lot of people have probably noticed my use of pacifiers and that I like them. Like I mentioned in the previous blog post Pacific Glow a back ground character on My little pony “The saddle review” had one on a necklace in the scenes that she was dancing. It made me very aware that I was indeed hiding and making things worse.

     My thing for adult pacifiers is not new. Very few people knew I even used them mind you; but, I still used them. When my stuffed animal was not enough I used a pacifier to help when my medications couldn't. Just because I take anti-depressants does not mean I am always successful at overcoming depression. I even forget to take my meds on occasion.

     The hardest thing to shake are those thoughts that make me feel like I am a failure. My newest Oc/imaginary is a Raver pony inspired by Pacific glow. Pacific glow had a pacifier. She comforts me when I need some one to talk to. All my OC's are like that but each of them have their unique back ground and personality.

Why imaginary friends 

     I had imaginary friends a lot longer than being an AB/DL. This is even before I got into stuffed animals. The first one I created is Seria whose name is pronounced (C-area.) All my imaginary characters had numerous names and some even reverted back to the names of where they came from. Spyro for instance falls into this category.

     The reason I have imaginary friends began because I realized I talked too much. To put it plain and simple I was the worst person to be around if you wanted peace and quit. So the friends I had were only the ones who were into the same stuff I was into. This is a very basic concept for everyone who has autism. I am not the only one who has this character trait.

     I also was not able to decompress when ever I needed it during my school classes. I had permission to walk out of classes when I needed it but I never liked to miss anything. We did have a room in High-school those of us who had a disability. Just being put under the pressure to keep up with all the other students was enough to force me to lose touch with reality.

     As my imagination and creativity developed so did my imaginary realm. If I could not escape in my mind when I needed to I have no doubt I would have become unresponsive. It has happened. Luckily it happened very few times and even fewer times was it severe enough to make a scene.

     I remember a story my mother told me about how I was put into an individual education plan. My mother was called into school one day and apparently the teacher was really aggravated with me. I became unresponsive to just about everything. I may not have even noticed my mother walk into the room.

     To make the story short it freaked out my mother and she demanded I get some sort of help. I don't even remember this incident because it was in my early school years but it was bad enough that she remembers it to this day. I always struggled withdepression and anxiaty.